Soul Searching

Life presents us with strange situations. situations which are covert, unobtrusive, and might not really mean anything. But they are there, staring at you, waiting to be explored, to be thought about. Every day you wake up, go about, minding your business, completing chores, finishing deadlines, meeting up people, having fun. Normal life, the way things flow. And then one day, you wake up in the morning, get out of the bed, try to commence the day like always, but something just doesn’t feel right. There’s a sinking feeling in your stomach, and you feel out of touch with reality. You sit yourself down, and think why you feel that way. There’s no plausible explanation, you didn’t have a break up, you didn’t fight with your mates, work is on track, family is good, in other words- life is good. Yet you have this empty feeling inside, that stings in a way which makes you feel that you aren’t doing it right. May be, just may be, what you have is not what you wanted. Granted there are people who might give anything to be in your place, yet it’s not what you wanted. And then after much probing into your thoughts, you discover, this feeling comes from a place in you which wants more than the worldly life you possess. What you desire is fulfillment, the feeling of being complete on your own. You put the thought away, and think, “Oh nonsense! I have a great life. What more can a person want? I need to get going.” And you brush aside those thoughts. You concentrate on your life, which might be termed exciting by others, but for you it’s just another day, doing the same things you did yesterday, may be in a different manner, but nothing new about it. And through the day in bits of odd hours, that thought nags you, making you jittery and preoccupied. As the days go by, You see yourself slowly detach from the life you cherished even a few days ago.

Isn’t such a situation overwhelming and daunting? What do we do when we are faced by such times, where we start questioning ourselves? Questioning every aspect of our lives? Questioning every decision we have ever made? Questioning our own identity? Well it’s quiet simple isn’t it? The answer i presume, lies in the question itself. We have to redefine our identities, not to the world, But to ourselves!

Ask yourself, what you truly want, and strive for it. Whatever it is! If you settle for anything else, you’ll be haunted by that sinking nagging and hollow feeling your entire life. It’s never too late to go in for self evaluation. Travel through time, go backwards, and rethink all those decisions you took. Think about the relationships you destroyed, the relationships you built, the people you pushed away and the people you embraced. Think about the way you hurt people, and the way you loved people. Think about the hundred things you wish you had done differently. For in time and memories do we find the answers to the questions of which we have no answers. Yes you can’t change those moments but you can heal, and figure out what you truly want and how you truly wish to behave. Because sometimes we do a lot of things to please the crowd, to blend in but what we really do in those moments is cheat ourselves and our values, which aren’t taught but are just ingrained in your very being.

Don’t lose yourself in an attempt to have the “ideal life” notion of the world. Whats ideal for others is not ideal for you, so you should never give in till you get to the end of the tunnel! Because when realisations dawn, people think it’s too late to act. But know this, it’s never too late to set things right. Never. 🙂