Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. You have to stuff down those emotions. And act. No matter how painful it might feel, no matter how shattered your heart is, no matter ho lonely you may feel afterwards, you just have to take a stand.
I myself have have faced such situations aplenty. Most recently, i had to put a stone on my heart and take a huge decisions and withdraw myself from a relationship. ‘Cause it just wasn’t going anywhere. Someone had to be the brave one. And unfortunately, i had to do the dirty work.
Trust me it’s crushing. Those long hours of nothingness, just staring into the void and a eerie echo of your own thoughts i your head, that’s scary. No matter how much you try to keep yourself busy and go out and socialise, you feel this emptiness inside you which you can’t fill with brainless fun or drown yourself in the endless glasses of alcohol.
But, what you do relish in, is a sense of freedom. being free from the shackles of a stagnant relationship is truly empowering. Yes, granted you go through that weird phase of acting like an airhead, doing all kinds of shit (excuse the language my dignified readers), throwing yourself into self destruct mode and doing all sorts of activities which you end up regretting later. But, the clarity you start receiving AFTER that weird phase is truly gratifying. You start realising what an idiot you were acting like and you stroll towards constructiveness.
That apart, i have had to take a stand in some minor issues too. Some people had to exit my life and i feel more empowered ridding myself of all those backstabbing fake people. Too long i had retained them in my life, existing in a bubble, thinking they are what they really aren’t. well, no more of such nonsense. You realise that if you succeed in taking a big decision and survive the isolating consequences, these other pricks in life are not a bother at all.
So, here’s to my new found sense of freedom and empowerment. No matter what i had to give up instead.